It's been a little while since I was regularly posting in this space again, and for that I apologize. Busy work schedule with very early mornings lately have meant little or no brain power left when I finally sit down to write. But a holiday weekend seems the perfect time to revisit some thoughts I have had lately while working around the house.
I'll dispense with the arts reporting for this weekend since Thanksgiving weekend is here, and many of us find ourselves in a somewhat more reflective mood than usual. The crisp fall days and cooler nights tend to do that as we realize the winter is not that far off.
After living in our present home for about 16 years now, we've accumulated a lot of stuff. Much of it, as many others discover too, they can certainly do without. So I have been spending a lot of time in the basement lately sorting through boxes and seeing what we can discard and what we should keep. It is a tedious process as anyone who has done the same can attest to.
Much of the stuff I've sorted through lately has been related to my late parents, as many of their personal things ended up in our basement since I'm the only family member living in Niagara with them. That means wading through boxes and boxes of photographs of all of us growing up, none of them ever digitized. That will be a tedious project I might leave for retirement, if I get to it even then!
My Dad was an amateur photographer of some renown, having won more than a few awards over the years including one in a Toronto Star photo contest back in the 80s for a picture he took of two cats on a roof in England many years ago. That framed photograph will soon have a place of honour in my home office.
You can imagine the number of photo albums I have to go through after a life lived behind the camera lens, shooting pictures of the family on vacation for many years as well as photographic evidence of their many retirement trips. How many? Well, they drove not once, not twice, but FIVE times to Alaska for example, taking breathtaking pictures along the way. In fact, the only state, province or territory they did not visit during their lives was, uh, New Jersey. Could never quite figure that one out...
When Mom passed away in 2000, Dad kept going, albeit at a slower pace. He also travelled further afield, since Mom was not too fond of airplanes. So Dad in his final years joined travel groups going to such far-flung places as China and Iceland. His camera was never not around his neck.
Dad never got into digital photography, preferring instead traditional black & white shots since he was largely colour-blind. He had to rely on Mom's expertise when developing colour photographs so he could get the shadings just right. Yes, Dad developed his pictures himself. Years ago while growing up in Toronto, if you could not find Dad he was usually holed up in his downstairs darkroom developing photographs of the family trips we had taken.
At the time of his death in 2009 Dad still had about five 35mm cameras of various quality, all of them well-used. When I was clearing out his things after he died I discovered there was still a half-used role of film in one of the cameras and I was curious to see what final thoughts he had in his final months. Were there more stunning nature shots to marvel at? I took the camera to my local Black's camera store to see what could be done.
I was given instructions on how to extricate the film from the camera without exposing it to the daylight and upon doing so, took the film in to Black's for developing. I waited to see what would come back. Sadly, they were all mundane shots even I could have taken, such as cars parked in the Pen Centre parking lot, for example.
I guess even Dad had run out of inspiration for his photographic art by the end of his life. I was crushed. But still, these were his final pictures, so they will always have a special place in the archives.
All of which brings us to this reflective time of year, Thanksgiving weekend. Traditionally we gathered as a family to celebrate not only Thanksgiving but Dad's birthday that landed on the 10th of October and Mom & Dad's wedding anniversary, which was October 15th. Dad would be turning 93 this year had he lived; if both Mom and Dad were alive they would be celebrating their 68th wedding anniversary.
It's a funny thing, but I find I miss them more as the years go by rather than less. With each passing Thanksgiving I wish we could still be together celebrating as in the past, knowing it simply isn't possible. But this weekend neither of them will be far from my thoughts as this weekend continues.
Meantime in the basement, I took great care with the wedding album still in good shape after all these years, admiring how young they looked back in 1949. Oh Dad, you were a handsome devil back then! Mom looked stunning. I stopped momentarily and my heart jumped when I realized buried in a box were the credit cards Dad still had when he died. I thought I had destroyed them years ago, although I know I cancelled them right away. But these were physical evidence of a life well lived, there in my hands at that very moment. I came close to shedding a tear, as it really never gets any easier to do this.
Growing up I remember Mom doing the ironing while dampening the clothes with a vintage Coke bottle with a sprinkler head attached to it. She would vigorously shake the water out before ironing the section to perfection. I found that very bottle in one of the boxes and I almost lost it. God, this was getting painful...
I was both fascinated and intrigued when I found Dad's war records, as he never really discussed that part of his life much, and I noted the date of his discharge and the day of his passing were identical, separated by over half a century. Yes, I sniffled while discovering the fact.
So at the end of this rambling reminiscence I just wanted to take a moment and remind you to cherish what you have and those around you who matter most. It is not wise to carry grudges for years at a stretch, and if you have any this is as good a time as ever to resolve the outstanding issues and get on with living your lives.
We are all put on this earth for a purpose and for only a finite period of time. Why waste it on anger and acrimony? You never, ever want to regret not telling someone you love how you feel until after they are gone. Do it now. This weekend is ideal.
Have a great Thanksgiving weekend. Celebrate however and with whomever you see fit. But be thankful. We have much to be thankful for.
Happy Thanksgiving!
October 7th, 2017.
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