Earlier this week on Facebook I posted an article from HuffingtonPost.com dealing with the age-old dilemma of knowing when it is time to say goodbye to a family pet. Essentially, the article disputes the typical vet's advice that "you'll know when it is time."
We oftentimes may know when it is time, but more often than not, at least for me, we stretch out that "time" as long as we possibly can. This I think is a natural reaction, as we have great difficulty coming to grips with the loss of a family pet that is more than just a pet but quite often a true member of the family.
You have probably faced this dilemma yourself at least once over the years. I know I have. In fact, my far better half and myself have faced that decision with one dog and four cats in the fifteen years we have been together. I can tell you from personal experience, it never gets any easier. Never.
The first loss we suffered was our dog, a Cavalier King Charles named Brittany back in 2004. A couple of years later our senior cat, Minou, passed away at the age of 20. We had a quiet period for a couple of years before my beloved best friend for 15 years, Pushkin, succumbed to cancer. Just a few months later, our other senior cat, Mr. Kitten, also passed away from cancer at the age of 20.
Most recently, tiny Pia, all of five pounds of pride and attitude was diagnosed with diabetes just over two years ago and after trying everything possible to work around the situation, we had to say goodbye the day after Christmas in 2013.
Of all the pets we have lost over the years, Pushkin and Pia hit us the hardest. Pushkin was diagnosed with a tumour just months after I lost my father in the spring of 2009, and he bravely hung on while I was in and out of hospital that summer three times with various operations of my own. When I finally got back home after the third stay in late September, it was if Pushkin said "okay, you're strong enough now to go on without me. I'm done."
Two weeks later we made the heart-wrenching decision every pet owner makes, and I must admit the loss very nearly crushed me after the year I was having.
Pia, on the other hand, was not that old. All of seven years when we found she had diabetes, and the vet suspected it was with her from the very beginning and we just didn't know it. Much care both in St. Catharines and the emergency clinic in Oakville bought us a few short months but ultimately, the difficult decision once again was made.
Whether we knew it was time or not is open to debate, I suppose. With Pushkin I readily admit I prolonged his life longer than I should of, but given what I was going through at the time, I needed some time with him once I got home. With Pia, as long as we felt she had fight in her, and she had lots of fight always, we would do everything we could to help her through it.
The end comes and you do what you have to do, and after a grieving process, you move on. It is never easy, and those who don't own pets have no idea the grieving process is sometimes so overwhelming with pets.
For many, that pet is their only companion, and they spend the entire day together, every day. Others, well, the pet is part of a busy family and sometimes might get lost in the shuffle of everyday life. But in each and every case, that pet means something to someone and that someone feels a void that can take weeks, months or maybe even years to overcome.
This past week, our special neighbour, a tuxedo cat named Siggy passed away at the age of about 12 or 13. Siggy, properly named Sigmund, wandered into our neighbourhood and made himself at home before being adopted by our neighbours, Mark and Sandy.
My earliest recollection of Sig was our last garage sale here at the house, when Siggy, still quite young and apparently homeless at the time, wandered up the driveway and promptly climbed up into my lap, curled up and had a nap while I sold former treasures to strangers.
That's how he was. He basically made the neighbourhood his home until he was finally adopted officially, and even then, the entire street was his domain. Sig would patrol, lounge, schmooze passers-by and generally ingratiate himself to everyone and anyone at a moment's notice. He also knew what a camera was for, and probably posed for more photographs than anyone else on the street over the years.
Siggy also had no idea anything might not actually belong to him. Many a time I would come out of the house and Sig was lying on the hood or roof of the car in the driveway, sunning himself with a look that suggested "What, you want me to move? Where?" He also parked himself on my wife's clients cars in similar fashion, all the while making sure he looked good should a camera enter the conversation.
On one memorable occasion, he climbed up on the roof of a client's car and discovering the sunroof was open, jumped in and made himself at home on the front seat of the car until the owner returned.
That's the way Siggy was. The world was his playground and he revelled in it. He was a formally-dressed bon vivant who was known throughout the neighbourhood. But he knew where his home was, and a more loyal, loving cat you would not find anywhere.
In the past few weeks Siggy began losing weight and bringing up his food, and there was considerable concern from all sides. Things worsened in the last few days and the difficult decision again was made to end his life with dignity and love.
So it was on Friday morning we visited next door and said our final goodbyes to Sig, and it was done.
The heartbreak of a loss cannot be measured, I think, other than by how much of a mark that pet left on your heart. With Siggy, everyone he met welcomed him into their hearts. He was just that kind of guy. You could not help but love him.
You can rest now, Sigmund, Siggy, Sig, Sigaroonius. Your job is done. But you will be greatly missed by those whose lives you touched in so many ways for so many years.
This is why we love our pets so much. They are family members who love us unconditionally and we we love them right back. Even though the pain never gets any easier to handle, I will willingly do it again and again and again. They are worth the trouble, the time, the effort and yes, the love.
If you are lucky enough to share your life with a pet, be it a cat, dog or whatever, take a moment this weekend and spend some extra snuggle time with them. You never know when you won't have that opportunity again, so bank as much love as you can now.
They will love you right back. And that is something special.
Enjoy the rest of the weekend.
May 22nd, 2016.
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