The bane of a theatre-goers existence: the advent of the smart phone

Now that I have finished up my annual reviews of shows at Shaw and Stratford, it is time once again to enter what I call the High Rant District and get something off my chest that seems to get worse every year:  distractions at live theatre events.

Time was all we used to have to worry about were those unthinking individuals who chose to unwrap candies and cough lozenges during the performance, usually doing it slowly but still noisily, thereby prolonging the agony for the rest of us seated nearby.  That does not happen quite so much anymore, although I did have one lady seated next to me at a performance this summer at the Tom Patterson Theatre who was sitting there quietly waiting for the show to start for several minutes, and then like magic, thirty seconds into the show, out comes the candy and the painful wrapper striptease that followed.  This happened not once, but twice during that particular performance, with the same person.  Good thing there were only two acts...

Now, the worst offender is the technological marvel known as the smart phone.  Today it is hard to imagine life without smart phones; they almost become physical appendages for some people.  I think it is time we sever the offending appendage and liberate ourselves, at least for a couple of hours while socializing.

Unless you are the President of the United States, I doubt there is anything so important it cannot wait until after a theatrical performance for you to find out about it.  Yes, I know some people have sick friends and relatives in hospital and want to know if anything happens immediately.  But that is what the vibrate function is for on your phone in situations when you might not want to disturb the people around you.  Assuming, of course, you care at all about the people around you.

I would suggest in many instances, people don't care.

At my second Stratford performance this season, The Who's Tommy at the Avon Theatre, when the curtain fell at the end of the performance and most sane individuals would want to applaud and even cheer the work of so many talented individuals who worked so hard that evening to bring the show to the stage, the gentleman seated directly across the aisle from me already had his head buried in his smart phone, checking God knows what.  Really?  You couldn't wait another five minutes until you left the theatre to check messages and your social media site of choice?  C'mon, there is more to life than what's on Facebook.  Rather than read about other people's lives, how about living your own life at that particular moment?

At Shaw this summer, one older gentleman, who obviously got his new smart phone not long before the performance we attended, didn't bother to shut it off before the show started, and sure enough it rang several times during the first act.  People around him grew increasingly annoyed he left it ringing for so long, and an usher eventually had to help him shut it off.  Turns out he hadn't bothered to learn how to turn the thing off when he got it.  Note to cell-phone users:  read the basic instructions that come with it before venturing out into public!

Back at Stratford, as the announcement was coming over the speakers asking patrons to kindly turn off their pagers and cell-phones for the performance of Romeo and Juliet I attended, the gentleman behind me wasn't paying attention and his phone started ringing.  Unbelievably, he answered it!  As the show was getting underway!  Again, hate to tell you sir, but you are just not that important, so turn off the phone before you enter the theatre.

There were several instances at both theatre festivals this summer where people obviously hadn't turned off their phones and tried to sneak a peak to see what is happening in the outside world during the performance.  Trouble was, everyone else knew what they were doing thanks to that bright, luminescent screen lighting up the entire section.  How much did you pay for these tickets, ma'am or sir?  You can't just sit and watch the show?  Pity.

I know I might be coming off a bit heavy-handed here, but I see an increasing encroachment on people's rights and space with the ever-increasing use of smart phones in daily life.  I haven't seen anyone try anything with a tablet yet, but give it time.

For me, the phone is always off before I enter the theatre, if I have it with me at all.  Often I leave it either in the trunk of the car or back at the hotel room, safely shut off and stored away.  I can't imagine anything so important happening that I can't wait a couple of hours in order to find out what it is.

The fact is, too much of a good thing is, well, too much.  And an addiction starts weaving its way into your life in the most insidious of ways.  It may not be smoking, gambling or over-eating, but a smart phone addiction can be just as serious and yes, just as annoying to others not so digitally inclined.

I admit I like my smart phone, and use it quite often to keep in touch with the world.  I even accept calls from my far better half asking where the heck I am at the moment.  I even dutifully downloaded the latest iOS 7 operating system when told to do so, and gave the requisite oohs and ahhs when I saw the end result.

But really, is it all that important you can't do without it for the time you attend a public event?  That's a shame.  Of course, having it there means you can also try to sneak a picture of the performance too; again against the wishes of the theatre and to the annoyance of those around you.  But  wait, that's a tirade for another day...

Enjoy the theatre...without your smart phone!

October 1st, 2013.