It's been awhile since I paid a visit to what I ruefully call the High Rant District, where I detour from my normal arts reporting beat to go off on a bit of a friendly tangent. But on a snowy Saturday afternoon I thought it was time. The subject is one I have addressed here previously some years ago when I worked at a bank, but recent events have caused me to address it once again, so here goes...
Men, smarten up. You know you can do it; you just don't seem to be bothered anymore. Well, too many of them at any rate.
I'm talking about dressing yourselves so that you don't look like you just tripped over the laundry basket on your way out the door. Not everyone needs to; I get that. But I suggest you might want to.
Need proof? It has long been my experience that a woman notices a man who dresses well. Even if you are in jeans or chinos and a sport shirt or something similar, as long as it is clean and most importantly fits well, you should be good to go.
But for some men, myself included, dressing the part often means creating a part for yourself and travelling a road nowadays much less travelled.
I'm talking about dressing up. Remember that? Remember putting on a suit or sports jacket and actually looking good? Some still do it but far too many have forsaken a well tailored look for looking, well, sloppy for want of a better term.
Perhaps it was the pandemic that continues to rage on, perhaps it is the result of that with many people now working from home. But now that we can actually go out again, albeit with precautions for many of us, it seems to me many men either don't know how to dress up or perhaps no longer care.
That's a shame, and one of the prime reasons is one I stated a few paragraphs ago. I can't tell you the number of times I have been out and watched as a couple were stepping out; she dressing as if it mattered and he looking like it was the furthest thing from his mind. That's because likely it is.
Now, I know I might come off as a bit of a snob here but I'm really not. I just learned many years ago you project an image when out in public, so why not make that image as positive as you possibly can? There is truth to what they say that clothes make the man.
On Facebook I belong to a number of men's groups devoted to looking your best, be it casually or far dressier. These are all men who know what look works for them and how to achieve it. Many members, myself included, get inspiration from their choices as no doubt they get inspiration from the rest of us.
When I retired almost two years ago now I made a promise to myself: I would never fall into the trap many older retired men fall into, thinking now they are retired they can look any way they want as nobody cares. Maybe so but you should care.
So, after 40 years of working in radio broadcasting where anything above wearing your pyjamas to work is fine, to my final career which involved wearing a uniform, I too can now where whatever I want. For me, it means I can wear a suit if I want to rather than need to. I can experiment with new looks and colours and have fun with it.
But never, ever, will I appear in public in sweatpants, dirty t-shirt or anything ill-fitting. It is a matter of pride for me, and I really enjoy it.
The day I turned 65 this year I did something I had wanted to do since I was a much younger man. I went out and got measured for a custom-tailored suit. I got a custom shirt to go with it too, complete with monogram! It was exciting and time-consuming, but the end result is so worth it. I look and feel like a million bucks when I wear it, and believe me, I get noticed.
Of course you can get a suit off-the-rack that fits good; I have several of those already. But this was a once-in-a-lifetime chance for me to indulge myself and have something made especially for me. That's rare today, although years ago in was the norm in society.
Before you think I must be rich, I'm not. Sure I can afford this luxury just this once, but really, it was not that expensive. I chose to do business at Stoney Creek Tailors in downtown Stoney Creek, as they have a great reputation and overhead is relatively low. I would have had it done locally but getting a suit made here is pretty much a thing of the past now.
Herman and his team did a great job and I was thrilled with the end result.
In September, I had two wedding invitations within a week of each other, so they both gave me a chance to dress up for an event, and that has not happened in quite awhile. My new suit wasn't ready yet but I had two others perfectly suited to both occasions.
But watching the others at each reception was almost painful. In most cases the women looked great; often the men not so much. I sometimes wonder if their respective spouse or partner even notices or cares, but I think they must. At least I hope so.
At the first wedding, with a reception held at Queen's Landing in Niagara-on-the-Lake, I spotted one man in a white t-shirt. Thankfully it appeared to be a clean one but really, is that the best you can do bud? Another at the same reception loved his old fedora so much he kept it on his head throughout the entire dinner and evening while I was there.
Now hat rules are fairly simple: you take your hat off when you are indoors, when you get on an elevator and hopefully when you go to bed at night. But it is a misconception you have to remove your hat when you approach a lady. All need be done is gently touch the brim and nod to her and that is sufficient.
Wear your hat - any hat - inside during dinner? Just not appropriate.
The second wedding the following week had a reception outside and although that might suggest a more casual approach to the event, thankfully most men took it upon themselves to wear a suit. But again, I noticed some could have used the help of a tailor.
Since this was a younger crowd most of the young men obviously had gone out shortly beforehand and bought a suit. But little thought was given to how it fit, and believe me, many of them simply didn't.
Then there was the young man who wore a brand-new suit. I could tell because the manufacturer's label was still attached to the outside of the sleeve! I mean, did not one person notice that before they got there? One wonders...
The thing is, you need to treat it more than just an afterthought. Take some time and shop around a bit. I know for most men that's just about as ludicrous a concept as you could imagine, but if you find a good suit and can be fitted by a person who knows a thing or two about fit, you will not regret it.
A good suit need not be expensive. But it simply must fit well or you ruin the effect. Simple as that.
You don't have to go with all the details I happen to indulge in if you don't want to, such as a hat or even French cuffs on the shirt. They work for me but may not for you. And that's okay. You take the time to define your style and the results will speak for themselves.
Now before you think I want to wear a suit all the time, I can assure you I love wearing a casual outfit as well. But again I try to up the style just a bit in order to make the outfit stand out from the crowd.
You know what casual item I get the most comments on by far? I have a pair of red jeans, nicely cut that I pair with a casual shirt and usually a jean jacket. A simple variation on a tried-and-true look for most men, right? But let me tell you, not a single garment in my wardrobe gets noticed more by women and commented on favourably than those red jeans!
So what's wrong with being noticed? I rather like standing out from the crowd, at least a little bit. That's something I wish more men would try themselves.
So there you go. I got this off my chest and I feel better. I may not influence anyone with this post but I hope I do, and in a favourable way, It's time men had a little fun with their wardrobe and learn to take the odd chance. And trust your instincts.
You never know what might happen!
Have a great weekend.
November 19th, 2022.
